Sunday, July 29, 2007;
♥ 7/29/2007 07:38:00 AM
But i dont get it
Why arent we even friends>>
I went back fairfield for farewell 07 on friday. Man, that sure brings back alot alot of memories. (:
Seeing how the current Secs run about, trying to get things organised and done made me remember farewell 05. My batchmates and i were running round the whole school, up and down the stairs getting things done. And of course, that terrible rain which spoils our 'dinner at skybridge' plan, making us have to rush to place all the tables and chairs in the foyer.
Seeing how the current ncos dressed up and chitchatting excitedly made me remember how the few of us meet at my place, before setting off to school tgt. (: How we dressed up and start walking around the school. How we 'hide' behind the GO and was never found, in the end having to come out ourselves. Haha. Good ol' memories. (: If only im using my old com now, i'll definitely start posting the pictures up! :D
But yeah, farewell 07 wasnt that bad. (: I get to meet up with people whom i haven seen in ages, esp my dearest saleha carissa simon and brandontan! <3> Oh ya, brandon's still as cuckoo as ever. (: Ugh, the whole exco is almost present, cept for nirma xf and yx. ): Nevermind! Im sure we'l get to meet up again, someday. (: (: (:
I'll post the pictures up! 
Brandon Me and Carissa, at the place where Contact Time is always held.
From right, Yuliang carissa brandontan and i!
Carissa, Me, Saleha.
(: I love retarded moments when we're tgt.
Picture perfect! :D
Okay! i so have to post this picture up. 
YULIANG ACTING CUTE! xP
Oh ya, chanel was sick. ):
Simon Carissa Saleha and I outside RCY room
Brandon said to cut of Carissa's tongue. (:
Half of Brandon gone! :D
We love our crowns.
Flowers!
I love seeing old friends. I love being back in that same ol' familiar environment. And i love hanging around with good ol' friends in the same ol' familiar environment. (: It doesnt take long before you realise i hate changes huh? :D
Dear Brandon, Carissa, Saleha, Simon, Chanel (okay, not so for you. I see you almost regularly for redcross!), Yuliang (this is so not for you. I see you in sch everyday!). You never know how much i miss you guys, and not forgetting those missing exco members on fri. (: Though it was less than a 5hr gathering, but hey. i truly enjoyed each moment with you guys. You guys are the best! :D We MUST meet up soon and often okay? The whole exco. (: We still have the swensens meal! <33>
And the night ended off nicely with carissa and i walking home, like when we were still in sec school.
Had to go school for maths today. =l I literally dragged myself out of bed. ):
Met Joleen on the way, and i walked in with her. Maths was alright, just that i was struggling to keep myself awake. Ugh.
Went off for lunch with the guys after waiting for what seems like a century.
And then, my mask fell off. I had my true bare emotions right smacked at my face. I tried hiding them back, and wiping them away. But they wont budge.
But hey, i felt so relieved for a moment. Im not pretending and im not acting. Im just really being wenfang for that short busride. My heart doesnt feel that heavy for that moment. And it seems like, im really being true to myself, and to everyone around me.
I like/hate that feeling. I hate those i-dunno-isit-true-or-fake concerns from people, asking if i were alright. But i enjoy those true moments to myself.
Mm, in people's impression. I always have to be the one, with those stupid smile on my face. I have to be the one, who's always ready with jokes to cheer people up. I have to be the one who appears to be so brave, and strong, and not be bothered by anything and everything. But hey, who actually seriously cares? Who actually bother finding the true me, thats hiden beneath so many fake masks? I do get affected with things that comes along in my life, and screwing it up in some way or another. I do get affected by how you act, and how you actually mislead me. I do get affected by in fact, everything and anything. But, no one cares. Are my masks that convincing to make people believe that im actually feeling how i appear to be? =l
Right, maybe people around me are all with masks, all not being true to one another. And maybe that the very reason, why it seems that everyone's so fake and unreliable, and that you can never seem to be true to any soul.
Dont worry, if you're not used to seeing me in the manner that i'd acted today.
Cos my masks are ready, and i'll be back to that person y'all know.
tell me what i saw isnt real
cos it hurts me, so very much.
hey, let's have a deal
hurt me no more, please;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
